from the archive: how did the colour blue make us feel?
Like SPACE! Standing at the window in my parents bedroom and looking out onto the street, a group of men in black turtlenecks and stoic faces floated down the road towards my house. I knew they were coming for me. I ran and hid in a chest and the last thing I remember is the lid opening, the light burning my eyes, and staring up into these strange and alien faces. That was my first nightmare about the Blue Man Group. I’d never even heard of the Blue Man Group. Do they actually paint their faces blue? They had really chiselled faces, anyway, and looked too serious. Like they were out on a hit.
Been feeling like I share half of my DNA with a potato. Come sit with me, you don’t have to sit in my arms. But I would like you to. Come sit with me and let me see your beautiful face, how it softens my shell and makes my skin feel naked. You don’t have to though. But I would like you to. Come be a lover, come being as you need to. Come entwine with me, what colour would we make? I wonder. Would it be blue.
Like SPACE! We transitioned, like a wave, to the next expansion of life, when I discovered blue movies in an uncle's safe he had accidentally left open while he was out at work. Me and my cousins watched those blue movies religiously. Just super curious about why you would want to have icky sex on a public bathroom sink. Very interested in the sexual appetites of men who, until this point, were benevolent patriarchs with undetectable flaws.
Been feeling like I share half of my DNA with a potato.You’re my world, you’re my sun and you’re my blue. I’m my joy, I’m my focus, I’m my moon. I’m my yellow. Blue is never sad for me, despite history forcing him to be connoted with lows and slumps. Blue is the cold but you can’t feel warm until you know you’ve been cold. You can’t know sunshine, until you’ve met white and silver moonshine: the light that coats the leaves you hear in the wind when darkness takes centre stage. Blue is still there.
Like SPACE! I think of a Human Blue, more than I think about the God Given blue. How we’ve appropriated a shade. Bastardised it with our own perceptions. Has anyone asked blue how she feels about being associated with sadness? Has anyone checked in with her? The depths of expectations we put on those colours. It must be a lot of work to represent the sky and the ocean. It’s expansive. Blue just never ends. If blue was a person she’d have half-moons under her greying eyes from all the running around she would be doing. Being there for when people feel under the weather, when they bask in the glory of her seas, making x-rated films, and weird jazz groups. She does a lot of work. Like space!
Been feeling like I share half of my DNA with a potato. Blue is never a maybe, blue is never an option. Blue is genderfluid as yellow is: don’t make me remind you how bananas are hermaphrodites. And we, humans, we share about 60% of our DNA with a banana. Those yellows. Funny how lately I’ve been feeling like I share half of my DNA with a potato. Lockdown will do that to you. I may as well share half my DNA with a yeast infection. Not really serving any purpose - are we?
Like SPACE! Blue and pure black must be bosom buddies. Almost, just separated by a slither of protective atmosphere. Blue and black press their hands against the glass on opposite sides as the train’s getting ready to depart. There was a time blue and black were one, but then explosions happened, people disagreed. Blue said, “I wanna make a planet where I’m all encompassing, where I steal the show, where everyone looks at me. I’m tired of living in your shadow. You smother me. I want some space from you, space.”
Been feeling like I share half of my DNA with a potato.Oh but we are. We always do. But lockdown, she will do that to you. One day we will be able to say: “lockdown? I don’t know her!” Pfizer always on beat.
Like SPACE! She contained herself and figured out a new way of doing life. A little different to her comfortable yet vacuous every day. They reflect each other. Constantly sizing each other up, the blackness of space knowing more than it lets on to the small yet determined blue sphere. They do love each other, but they work better separately than as one.
Been feeling like I share half of my DNA with a potato. Blue is the colour pocketed in some Caribbean flags. Blue is left out of some Caribbean flags. Guyana, despite having Kaiteur Falls, the largest single drop waterfall by the volume of water flowing over it, is still known for its land. Is that why the flag is mostly green? It holds the part of the Amazon rainforest which is the most untouched and unexplored. Uncharted.
Like SPACE! Who cares if blue is just a small speck on the spectrum? See her work, see her life, see what she gives! Sometimes she can be that smothering, all encompassing presence that she wanted space from. So we continue repackaging smaller parts of our self-contained universe in the hopes that we can reflect her work and give life to our private worlds. A protective, reflective, fragile sphere keeping us safe from the overwhelm. A place to breathe.
Been feeling like I share half of my DNA with a potato. Does that mean the red in the flag is symbolic for the Jonestown massacre then? Probably not. What a blue event. I’m doing it again - prescribing blue to something bad. Something mad. Something sad. Rhyme for me honey, make it sing for me honey, go! Go. Go shawty, it’s your birthday. We gonna sit in lockdown like it’s your birthday. You’re gonna sip a 3 year old Punk IPA like it’s your birthday. Cos you literally got into beer 4 months ago. Did god really think: “yep. Time for beer to enter the chat?” Is free will ever present: cos I know myself well enough to know I never wanted to like beer this much. Is free will blue? I just wanted to know. Where does blue go when it needs a break?